Advertising Gone Wrong
by sheikgoddess
Summary: Review! J.K. Rowling can't think of a title for book seven so she enlists the help of Bloomsbury and its advertisers. Scary thoughts...random, crack fic written to amuse. Rated T for comprehension issues.


Sheikgoddess: This is a random idea that was inspired by the Melbourne Gala Night Comedy Festival. Melbourne is in Australia for those who were unsure. I intend this story to be a one-shot unless someone asks me to make it into a story. I don't know what genre you would put this under. 'Insane' might fit…ENJOY!

Disclaimer: Do not own Harry Potter, JKR (duh), Bloomsbury, or anything to do with advertising altogether. But I do own…the bug crawling on my computer screen…

J. K. Rowling (A/N: I'm henceforth abbreviating her name to JKR) had just finished typing the last chapter of Harry Potter 7 when suddenly; the computer screen froze and died.

No it didn't really freeze or die, but some people were worried weren't they?

She sat back in her chair, satisfied that she had finally finished. Ten years worth of work finally finished. There was just one thing missing from Harry Potter Seven – a title. And damned to hell if JKR could think of one. Her brains had been used up after writing book seven. It would be weeks before she could think _that _intelligently ever again. So she did what any writer does in a situation like that.

She rang her publishers.

The publishers aka Bloomsbury, were absolutely stomped. What on earth do you name Harry Potter 7? So they in turn rang the advertisers, who apparently knew best, seeing as they were going to bring in the 'bacon' so to speak. There was a meeting set for tomorrow at two.

What Bloomsbury didn't know was that the advertisers were only out to make money (like we didn't know). So before they went to the meeting tomorrow, they conducted a little 'marketing research'.

The meeting at two came as promised. In the board room there was JKR, the CEO of Bloomsbury and other big shots that were going to make money out of book seven.

The representative from the advertising company, Rodney sat in his place and the meeting began.

'Well as you all know, we are here to decide a name for Harry Potter 7' the Bloomsbury CEO stated.

This was followed by incoherent muttering because that is what people do in a board meeting.

'Ladies and Gentleman,' Rodney said to quiet the chatter. ' Our company did a little marketing research before we came by'-

Everyone else glared.

'So…(Rodney was getting a little nervous by the glares) we found out the latest best sellers and have come up with a name that will not copy or infringe on any other titles. But here's the bonus – this title is guaranteed to sell this book – no matter how bad it could be.'

JKR glared at Rodney.

'Come on, JKR after six books you can't keep it up'

JKR sharpened her working replica of Gryffindor's sword.

'Erm moving right along then' Rodney said sqeakily. 'This title is guaranteed to sell'

'SO WHAT IS IT THEN?' everyone yelled, including JKR.

'No need to yell!'

'WELL?'

Harry Potter and the Da Vinci Code of Sudoko 

There was an awkward silence, then-

'You know what?' JKR exclaimed, 'I love it!'

'You know what?' Someone else said, 'I think it's time for my afternoon nap'

'It's agreed then. Next year's bestseller will be called _Harry Potter and the Da Vinci Code of Sudoko_.'

**Bloomsbury's other possible title names for book seven.**

_Harry Potter and his greatest moneymaking adventure yet._

_Harry Potter and the delusional shippers._

_Harry Potter and the adventures of Bill Gates_

Harry Potter and the reasons why Bloomsbury is publishing JKR's work 

_Harry Potter and the writer's cramp_

_Harry Potter and the 99-second score on minesweeper._

* * *

Sheikgoddess: 'Harry Potter and the Da Vinci Code of Sudoko' was borrowed by comedian David O'Doherty.Iguessonly some of the more loyal fans of Harry Potter would get some of those rejected title names. Tell me if you'd like it turned into (yet another) random story. Please review! For every review I don't get JKR will skip a day of writing Harry Potter 7 Mwhahahaha I am so evil cough

Let the randomness breed.


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